Michael and I have now lived more than a year of our lives on cruise ships — non-continuously, but still.

A hill I’ll die on: cruise ships can be a fantastic — and maybe even ethical? — part of contemporary travel.

As digital nomads for the last ten years, we’ve found that “repositioning” cruises are a comfortable — and affordable — way to travel between different regions of the world.

Along the way, we’ve slowly worked our way up the “loyalty” programs of various cruise lines.

With cruise lines, your loyalty status is typically the result of the total number of days you’ve spent cruising or your total number of cruises (and you can rise in the ranks faster by booking full suites, paying for single occupancy as a single cruiser, and taking advantage of various special promotions).

We just took our first cruise with “Elite” status in Princess Cruises’ Captain’s Circle loyalty program, which we had reached after previously sailing for 150 days (we also could have taken 15 different cruises).

The program has four different levels — Gold, Ruby, Platinum, and Elite. But the benefits are very modest until you reach “Elite” status.

But how good are these top perks?

In addition to the earlier benefits (like a 10% discount on certain items onboard the ship, early access to dining reservations, and a 50% discount on internet packages), here are the specific Elite perks, and my thoughts on them.

I’m listing them in order from least to most impressive:

You get various edible goodies.

Once you reach Elite level, they throw all kinds of goodies at you: afternoon tea served in your stateroom, as well as complimentary canapés and chocolates. We also got invited to a wine-tasting event, which was fun, and another party where the drinks were free.

Oh, and every afternoon, one ship lounge is closed off for Platinum and Elite members only, and they play live music, serve discounted alcoholic drinks, and offer a full hors d’oeuvres bar.

Michael and I had an ongoing debate about these “special” hors d’oeuvres, especially since I insisted we go almost every day — for, um, fourteen days straight.

Michael would say, “These are just the same hors d’oeuvres they offer in the main buffet.”

And I would reply, “No, they’re not! Some are the same, but they have special offerings up here you can’t get anywhere else on the boat! Plus, even if some of it is the same stuff, this is a private, roped-off space with almost no other people.”

Then one day, the hors d’oeuvres bar offered a full spread of fresh sushi.

“Ha!” I said to Michael. “I told you they have special stuff up here! I am totally vindicated!”

Then we went down to the regular buffet, and they had, er, the exact same spread of sushi.

Everyone really sucks up to you.

Here’s a benefit they don’t publicize but was really obvious throughout the cruise: crew members absolutely treat Elite passengers differently, going out of their way to make you feel as special as possible. Our cabin steward was attentive almost to the point of ridiculousness.

I should have a very dim view of this. I’m an old-school liberal, and I believe that it’s very unhealthy when a society treats certain folks in a dramatically different way than everyone else.

I had a childhood friend who skipped college and started his own business — and by the time I graduated (and was still making eight bucks an hour), he was worth $25 million. And he once told me that there’s a whole worldwide network of ultra-exclusive resorts and other businesses where rich people are lavishly and ridiculously catered to — completely out of sight of everyone else.

(Because they’re worried people will cut off their heads like they did with Marie Antoinette? Probably!)

Anyway, I think the increasingly stark difference between the way the rich are treated in America compared to everyone else is at the root of almost everything wrong in my home country right now.

Sure, some social differences are inevitable, and people should be able to enjoy the fruits of their labor. But did we learn nothing from the horrors of the first Gilded Age?

But despite my politics — or maybe because of them — it was quite disturbing how quickly I began to feel “entitled” on the boat.

I liked those daily trips to the Elite bar. “Special treatment” lands differently when you’re on the other side of the velvet rope.

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