😰 Falling out of love with HR? 2 things to do before you walk away

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😰 Falling out of love with HR? 2 things to do before you walk away

🦋 This is how it feels to almost quit HR – and return with a purpose (Guest writer: Paola Tartaglione)

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Falling out of love with HR? 2 things to do before you walk away

Lately, I’ve been hearing more of this from HR leaders in start-ups:

And come year-end, we feel it even more — we’re wrapping up the year and strategising for the next, teams are exhausted, execs still misaligned and we’re quietly keeping it all together in the background.

If what you’re feeling is mental or physical tiredness, a recharge might be exactly what you need. And many of you are probably already doing what you can: sleeping more, setting boundaries, taking mini breaks, walking, journalling, meditating, eating better... we know the drill.

But here’s something we don’t talk about enough:

What if what really needs recharging is… your ego?

Ooof. Did you just flinch a little when I said ‘ego’? OK, let me clarify. Ego isn’t bad — just like ice cream isn’t bad. Too much of it, sure, it’s a problem. 

Ego is simply our self-worth or self-esteem, which is not inherently good or bad. A healthy ego gives us confidence and resilience. Too much? Arrogance. Too little? Insecurity.

So if we want to stay balanced, we need to recharge our ego — our need to feel seen, valued and reminded that what we do matters.

Because when we don’t feel valued:

1️⃣ Short-term recharge: Ask for better feedback

“Ask for feedback” – we say it all the time. But what we get is: “You’re going great, keep going.”

Nice, but useless 🙄. It doesn’t recharge us, it doesn’t show our impact and it doesn’t help us feel valued. If we want feedback that genuinely reminds us we matter, we have to guide it. 

And the end of the year is the perfect time to reflect, gather evidence and refuel.

Pick one person this week; your CEO, founder, COO or a senior leader you work closely with. Instead of “Any feedback for me?”, ask them these 5 questions:

That’s it. Don’t soften it. Don’t apologise for asking. We’re not fishing for compliments. We’re creating evidence:

Screenshot their answers. Save them in a folder. Call it “I am amazing!”. Open it on the days when we’re exhausted, overwhelmed and tempted to walk away.

2️⃣ Long-term recharge: Make our work matter

We know by now: doing more doesn’t make us feel valued. Doing what matters does.

The answer isn’t firefighting more efficiently — it’s influencing, shaping, and leading the business through people.

The long-term ego recharge comes from redesigning your role to reflect your value. So as you plan the year ahead, think about how you will:

That’s longer-term, structural and systemic change. We’ll get there. But we can’t create long-term change if we’re already running on empty.

So this week, start small. Recharge your ego. You might just find your love for HR wasn’t gone — it was buried under exhaustion, waiting to be seen again 🤗

This is how it feels to almost quit HR – and return with a purpose

Six months ago, I was ready to leave HR.

I’ve loved start-ups for their energy and “get sht done” spirit. But over time, it started to feel like “same sht, different pile.” I was stuck in execution, drifting further from the meaningful HR I believed in.

I started questioning myself:

“Is this still for me?”
“Have I outgrown HR or has HR outgrown me?”

I spoke to my husband and HR friends about leaving HR. I still loved HR… I just didn’t love how I was doing it. I was tired, demotivated, low on confidence – and feeling like what I did didn’t matter.

Fast forward 6 months

Recently, I walked into our Exec meeting excited to share my HR Roadmap. Something I didn’t feel in a long time. I started with:

“What are a company’s priorities? Build great products, sell them and make revenue.”

From there, I positioned HR as a strategic driver of those outcomes, not just an executor or admin function. Then I walked the Exec Team through the 3 biggest areas we needed to solve to hit our revenue targets and accelerate growth.

For each, I laid out:

After the session, I got responses I’ve never received before. A couple of execs reached out immediately. One of them said:

Since then, they’ve been coming to me regularly (sometimes very regularly 🤣). They’re proactively involving me in their strategy planning rather than treating HR as an afterthought.

This is how it feels…to be valued

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m genuinely influencing the direction of the business. I felt like I belonged in the room — not as a background role, but as someone the business relies on. Previously, I was expected to wear every hat and solve problems without being in the conversations that created them.

For the first time in a long time, I can say this with full honesty: I’ve fallen back in love with my work.

But this didn’t happen overnight

When I decided I needed a change, I signed up for JooBee’s STEP UP bootcamp. From Day 1, it was a shock to my system. I told her, half laughing😅, half overwhelmed😱: “My brain hurts!” But it was the good kind — the kind that comes from stretching.

I learned 2 things that shifted everything:

After the bootcamp, I started applying what I’d learned: reframing challenges, linking decisions to outcomes and speaking the language of business.

Within a month, an exec told me;

That moment planted a small seed of belief. I thought:

“Maybe I can do this. Maybe I do have something valuable to bring.”

That small seed motivated me to make a bigger shift

Four months ago, when I joined my new company, I didn’t rush to send out engagement surveys and I resisted the urge to jump into busy HR activity.

Instead, I chose to slow down before speeding up. I spent my first weeks reading, asking questions, and speaking with over 50 people to really understand:

In parallel, I started the STEP UP MBA (another shock to my system 😅). I had to watch Module 1 three times just to absorb it properly. But it helped me decode stakeholder language — when someone said “we’re changing our business model”, I finally understood the implications.

I won’t lie. There were moments I panicked thinking: “I haven’t shipped anything. Am I adding value?”

But slowing down was the value. And my business wanted me to take that time.

And the rest, as you already know from the spoiler above😊. I presented the roadmap and tied every HR initiative back to what the business actually cares about. 

A journey to make my work matter again

My biggest takeaway from this journey is: “If we can’t connect to business goals, challenges and outcomes, our impact is limited.”

I still have a lot to learn, but my confidence is rebuilding — slowly, steadily, authentically. For the first time in a long while, I’m excited about what HR can be.

Scaling your start-up?

Let’s make sure your leadership, people and org are ready. Here are 3 ways I can help:

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