Is it wrong to use anxiety as a motivational hack?

For as long as I can remember, I've always struggled to get things done.

It started early in school and never went away.

Even though I often had the best of intentions and wanted to do that thing and show everyone how smart I was and how I could get things done when they were important to me.

That just wasn't how my brain worked.

So I tried all sorts of different strategies and productivity hacks, trying to find that magic unlock. The secret strategy or system that would make it all work.

I never found such a system, despite many MANY lost weekends building something I thought was going to be new and shiny and perfect and... ultimately never-to-be-touched-or-looked-at-or-even-thought-of-ever-again.

But one thing I did find…

Whenever I was super stressed out and feeling anxious and under a lot of pressure, I often seemed to be able to find that elusive motivation to get some actual work done!

Is it the night before a big deadline? Stress + Anxiety = Motivation

Often times, I think I would unconsciously sabotage myself and ramp up the anxiety on purpose. Missed deadlines, forgotten details or commitments, overflowing inboxes, etc.

But it can only go so far, because too much stress and anxiety just leads me to complete collapse and burnout. And then nothing gets done at all.

I think of this as "juggling chainsaws." I need just enough chainsaws to keep it "interesting" and providing that motivation, but not so many chainsaws that they all come crashing down at once.

It can be a stressful approach, and not one I necessarily recommend.

I'm pretty sure this is not a healthy approach.

…I'm positive it's not a healthy approach.

But I still find myself pulled in that direction—adding new stresses when things get too slow and boring, in some sort of effort to kick myself into high gear.

Is that okay?

Stay curious,
Jesse J. Anderson