🍽️ Stop treating EOY conversation like an all-you-can-eat buffet

TL;DR

🍽️ Stop treating EOY conversation like an all-you-can-eat buffet

🪞 2 ways to help managers have braver performance conversations

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Stop treating EOY conversation like an all-you-can-eat buffet

Here’s a slide from one of my Performance Management strategy proposals. One section I want to highlight: the ‘all-you-can-eat conversation’ that happens at year-end😱.

Everything, all at once, within an hour

Most companies still conduct Performance Review Conversations like a year-end buffet. Everything piled onto one plate: feedback, development plans, career conversations, salary reviews – stuffed into a single hour.

People don’t load their plate with broccoli. They head straight for the lobster — or in this case, salary. Suddenly, the intended purpose — recognising performance, setting development goals, talking about career paths — flies out of the window. The conversation becomes one thing and one thing only: “Why didn’t I get more money?”

We don’t run buffets. We serve fine dining

So, as part of performance and development strategy, we stop running ‘buffet conversation’ and we start serving fine dining conversations. Structured, intentional, well-paced conversations where each ‘course’ gets the attention it deserves.

Here’s how my team and I helped the business set clear expectations for what that looks like across the year:

🍽️ Performance conversations (focused on the current role, for everyone)

This is about how someone is doing in their current role. It’s not a once-a-year event; it’s a continuous drumbeat. Regular 1:1s, real-time feedback and then a quarterly or annual summary to connect the dots. Everyone gets this because clarity on performance is the baseline.

🍽️ Career moves conversations (focused on future role, not for everyone)

This isn’t about today’s performance; it’s about development into future roles. There are 3 main pathways for people to move their careers:

(for more details on Career Moves 👆click here)

We expect managers to dedicate at least 4 conversations a year (one per quarter) to career development. But with one condition: only if the person is ready. If they’re still finding their feet in their current role, be honest — now’s not the time to talk about what’s next. First things first: deliver today before we plan for tomorrow.

And sometimes, they’re simply not interested in a career move right now — and that’s okay too. Not everyone’s on a quest for the next shiny title (some people genuinely like what they do!).

In those cases, we ask managers to shift the focus: 

Career development isn’t always about moving up. Sometimes, it’s about staying great and feeling valued while doing it.

🍽️ Salary review conversation (once a year, everyone)

We make this a standalone conversation. A clear, structured review of pay in line with current role performance. Yes, it naturally ties into performance, but by splitting it out, we give equal oxygen to development and career discussions. Otherwise, they suffocate under the weight of pay debates.

Because if you don’t pace the courses, people binge on one

Fine dining means pacing the courses, giving each its due timing and attention. Done right, we shift from transactional “why didn’t I get more money?” negotiations to meaningful conversations that recognise, develop and retain top talent.

2 ways to help managers have braver performance conversations

“I don’t feel comfortable saying someone is ‘not ready’. I feel bad.”

This was said by a brilliant, highly experienced exec in one of my leadership bootcamps. We weren’t even talking about performance reviews. We were talking about delegation.

But that one sentence speaks volumes. Because this is the real struggle for many leaders.

They struggle to say, “You’re not ready.” Not because they don’t know it. Because they feel bad saying it.

And it gets even harder during Performance Review conversations

That discomfort doesn’t just show up in delegation, it seeps into everyday feedback and shows up in full force during Performance Reviews. When managers feel bad about telling the truth — because they don’t want to seem unsupportive or harsh — that’s when we’ve got a problem.

They end up saying nothing at all. 

Help your managers have braver performance conversations

No amount of frameworks or processes on how to give feedback or have effective Performance Review conversations will fix this. 

As HR leaders, we need to help managers face what’s really going on. 

And that’s what we need to help them move through.

1️⃣ Help managers overcome fear

Start by breaking the belief that being kind means being nice. Because when managers try to be nice, they dilute the message. They talk about ‘potential.’ They soften the truth. And they mislead.

Being clear isn’t cruel. It’s leadership.

When we help managers reframe statements like “You’re not ready”, we unlock something powerful. Because it doesn’t mean:

It means:

2️⃣ Help manager see their impact

When a manager hesitates to say the hard thing, ask: ‘Is this discomfort about you or what your team truly needs to hear?’

Softening the truth might feel good in the moment. But clarity delivered with belief and support is what actually develops people. Ambiguity erodes trust. It leads to confusion. And eventually, it blindsides.

Clarity, on the other hand, gives people a choice. It gives them a chance to rise.

The courage to step into leadership discomfort

At the end of the day, helping managers master performance conversations isn’t about giving them another template — it’s about shifting how they see their role. Clear, honest feedback isn’t the opposite of kindness; it’s the highest form of it. When managers stop avoiding the hard truths, they give their people something far more valuable than comfort: trust, direction, and the chance to grow. That’s the real work of leadership.

Scaling your start-up?

Let’s make sure your leadership, people and org are ready. Here are 3 ways I can help:

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