Hey friends,

I’ve noticed a common theme in some of my recent struggles.

Too much optimism.

That might sound counter-intuitive, but I think I’ve been just a bit too optimistic specifically when trying to implement a new system, new habit, or new approach. Rather than trying to solve for reality, I build something that would be perfect for a mythical version of myself.

I create for the reality I wish were true.

For example, maybe I’m trying to work on managing my personal finances better.

So what’s my solution?

I go all in.

• Create an elaborate budgeting system with all the perfect budget categories and sub-categories

• Make sure “every dollar has a job” and assign detailed budgets for each sub-category

• Start recurring budgets to automatically fill in each category at the required interval

Etc etc etc.

The problem?

My current reality before starting this whole venture = barely tracking finances at all with non-existent budget categories.

But now I’m trying to dive in with a 1000% increase in time, energy, and difficulty from my current situation. It might go fine for a few days or so. But several weeks in, I stop tracking anything at all and my shiny new budget is forgotten entirely.

(I’ll probably forget to cancel the subscription for the shiny new app I was using too)

When the novelty dopamine wears off, I’m left with the overwhelm of an elaborate self-made prison that feels like infinite work. And worst of all, boring work.

I do the same with productivity apps—building an elaborate system with recurring tasks like washing the dishes every other day (a quantum leap above what I’m currently doing) and every other chore built into the system, only to fall apart once I start to snooze and mute all those nagging reminders.

I think the trick is to start much, much smaller.

Rather than trying to build a perfect budget, maybe just start tracking categories and see where the current money is going? Or focus on adding a single recurring task for a chore you’re wanting to do more regularly?

What are some ways you’ve tip-toed into making a positive change which has worked?

Stay curious,
Jesse J. Anderson

P.S. One thing that makes writing Extra Focus fun is the community. I love this amazing Extra Focus community and all the great feedback I get from your emails. This community is the reason I write!

For the past few months, I’ve really missed the community features Substack provides—commenting, chat threads, polls, etc—so I’m excited to move back and have these features available again!

(Don’t worry, you don’t have to resubscribe or anything. If you’re reading this now, you were transferred successfully!)

For now, anyone can comment on posts and engage in chat threads. Only paid supporters will be able to create new posts in the chat, so if you have a burning question for the community, why not become a paid supporter?

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Resources

🎙️ ADHD Aha! podcast • Toxic productivity, remembering to remember, and rejection sensitivity
Had a wonderful time talking about my “ADHD Aha!” moment and diving into how that affected my life and how small changes can make a world of difference. Give it a listen!

Posts

Just showed up on time to a social gathering and no one I know is here yet.

Basically, my worst nightmare.

This is why I’m always late.

. . .

Currently hiding in the bathroom.

(via threads)