🤨 Everyone thinks they can do HR’s job (here’s what to do about it)

TL;DR

🤨 Everyone thinks they can do HR’s job (here’s what to do about it)

🪞 Confidence at the exec table: Why you hesitate and how to lean in

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Everyone thinks they can do HR’s job (here’s what to do about it)

It’s not just one frustrated VP of People, I’ve heard it from countless HR leaders. When it comes to people stuff, everyone has an opinion and it often feels like the rest of the exec team is always ‘marking our work.’

I get it. It’s annoying. Very annoying.

But you know me – I like to poke the bear sometimes 👉🐻. 

So my first instinct is: “Why don’t you mark their homework back?”

Yes, I’m that annoying😆. When someone meddles in my stuff, I meddle right back.

(But there’s a serious point underneath that cheeky comeback.)

Same behaviour, different label

Let’s step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture. If you sit at the exec table as an HR leader, that is your team.

And what do high-performing teams do?

Now…what does “marking HR homework” look like?

It’s the same behaviour, just a different label.

The difference is not what they do, it’s how we see it

If I want my exec peers to care about my work, I want them to challenge me. That’s what good collaboration looks like.

So here’s the honest check-in:

Or are we sitting back quietly, thinking “that’s not my lane”?

Not from pride. Not as revenge. But because that’s what cross-functional leadership looks like.

I didn’t mark their homework either, and it was a mistake

Let me be the first to raise my hand 🙋🏻‍♀️ 

In my first exec role, I didn’t mark anyone else’s homework. There were 2 reasons:

1️⃣ I didn’t understand the business enough

So, of course, I couldn’t challenge anything meaningfully.

2️⃣ I didn’t think it was my job

I was a first-time Head of People. I thought I was there to lead HR. Sales handle sales, tech handles tech, and so on. So I stayed in my lane.

Which, in hindsight, was the biggest mistake of my early career. 

The moment we sit at that table, we are no longer a functional leader. We’re a business leader with one shared goal: make the business successful through enabling people.

Strategic HR challenges the business (not just the people stuff)

So this week’s newsletter is not about blaming others. It’s about us. Our mindset. Our missed opportunities. And what we can do differently — starting now.

So go on. Mark their homework. 

Ask the hard question. Share your observation. Challenge the assumption. 

You’re not “meddling”. You’re doing your job — as a strategic, commercial, equal member of the exec team.

Confidence at the exec table: Why you hesitate and how to lean in

If you’re thinking, “Yes, I’m ready to mark the other execs’ homework… I want to ask that question… I want to challenge that assumption…,” but then a little voice whispers:

“It’s probably already been asked.”
“You should know this already.”
“Don’t embarrass yourself.”

So you stay quiet — silenced by a dip in confidence.

Confidence: A competence problem? Or a perception problem?

Lack of confidence usually comes from one of 2 places:

1️⃣ A real lack of competence (you genuinely don’t know enough yet). 

2️⃣ A perceived lack of competence (you fear people will think you don’t know enough).

If you’re in the first category, like I was, and your confidence wobbles because you’re afraid someone will discover you don’t fully understand the business… good news: that’s fixable. You can learn it.

And yes, here comes a shameless plug — the STEP UP Bootcamp and STEP UP MBA were built exactly to close that gap. Business fluency is straightforward to build when someone shows you the shortcuts.

But if your hesitation comes from the second category, the fear of being perceived as incompetent, the internal monologue sounds like this:

If that’s the case, let me say it clearly:

And that fear is what’s holding you back.

What’s really behind the fear and how to tackle it

👌 Expecting yourself to be ‘perfect’

People say perfection is unattainable, I think it’s worse – it’s dangerous. If we’re “perfect,” there’d be nothing left to learn. That’s not perfection… that’s preventing us from growing.

Remind yourself: You’re learning. So, instead of saying, “This might be a stupid question,” try:

Curiosity sounds confident — because it is.

😨 Fear of vulnerability and mistakes

We often treat mistakes as proof of incompetence. But do you think others are incompetent when they ask clarifying questions? Do you judge leaders for wanting more context? Of course not. 

Yet when we make a slip or admit we don’t know something, our inner critic screams: “Everyone will see I’m not good enough” or “I’ll look foolish.”

Remind yourself: You give others grace, give yourself the same. Speak to yourself the way you'd support someone you lead.

🔦 The spotlight effect

We wildly overestimate how much others are watching or judging us. They’re not. They’re too busy worrying about themselves.

Back in college, I used to point out my love handles to a friend. One day, she said: “If you didn’t say anything, I wouldn’t have noticed at all.” That moment stuck with me. 

Remind yourself: No one cares more about your “imperfections” as much as you do. (Yes, tough love — but true.)

Confidence comes from action

If you're holding back because you’re worried about how you’ll be seen, you’re not alone. But confidence doesn’t come first, it follows action.

Start small. Ask one business question this week, then two, then three.

Your confidence builds, and your influence grows every time you choose to lean in.

Step up from HR Leader to Business Leader

Ready to influence strategically, drive business impact and make HR indispensable?
Here are 3 ways I can help: